268. Jessica Satterfield // Cultivating a Kingdom Family: Part 3

What if discipline in your home looked less like punishment and more like connection? In this episode, Jessica Satterfield dives into what it means to parent from the Father’s heart, where love, not fear, leads the way. Jessica unpacks how true discipline is a slow and steady process that shapes hearts, not just behavior. This episode will help you see parenting as a sacred reflection of how God parents us, with patience, grace, and perfect love.

Bible Verses:

Isaiah 54: “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.”

1 John 4:16-18 “So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also, we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

John 15:10 “If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.”

Hebrews 12:7 “It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?”

Galatians 6:9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Topics Discussed:

Discipline

Discipline is like planting seeds. You nurture it and water it and you might not see the fruit until way later.
To discipline well you must come to Jesus every single day for fresh bread.
If you yield to the Holy Spirit and you’re constantly coming to Him every day for fresh bread, you will receive an abundance of grace.
Discipline is a slow growth.
It’s a slow and steady step in the same direction for a long time.
Ask yourself “what is this behavior pointing to?”
The reason people use punishment and fear in discipline is because they see immediate results. But does this change the heart?
Obedience deals with the heart.

Parenting Through Connection

When you send kids out of the room for misbehaving, you are telling them “You’re too much for me.” And “Whenever you are in a position where you need shepherding, I’m going to reject you.”
The places that your children are struggling through, Jesus’ love hasn’t reached perfection in their heart.
You can never know what you’ve never seen.
If our kids cannot see us parenting them from the love and connection of the heart of the Father, it will be very hard for them to see God as a loving Father and not be scared to connect to Him.
Parenting through connection is looking at your child’s behavior as a symptom of a larger problem that’s happening in their heart.
If you parent through connection only 30% of the time it changes brain chemistry of your children. It heals the synapsis in their brains.

Re-dos

If a child is defiant and saying no you can give them a redo.
This would look like saying “I understand you don’t want to ___, but I’m going to give you a redo. You can try again and say that with respect and then do what I’ve asked you to do, or you can get a consequence.”
This presents the child with a choice.
When the child then chooses to do what you ask them to do the do not receive a consequence.

Consequences

Consequences should be natural and logical.
Give consequences that bring them closer to you and not push them away.
Time in not time out.
The goal of consequences is connection.
Children must first be regulated before a consequence is given.
Once the child is regulated, have a conversation about what happened and validate their feelings. Then set a boundary.
This type of parenting is showing children what it looks like to connect to the heart of the Father.

Prophetic Words

Speak prophetically over your children.
Notice the good things they are doing and celebrate that with them.
Speak identity over them and into their hearts.
God rewards those who sow in obedience.

Powerful Quotes:

“Jesus came to demolish the law. He fulfilled the law.” – Jessica Satterfield

“Everything that Jesus is, so are we.” – Jessica

“The places in our heart where we are fearing connection to God, is actually places where His love hasn’t conquered in our heart.” – Jessica

“If our kids cannot see us parenting them from the love and connection of the heart of the Father, it will be very hard for them to see God as a loving Father and not be scared to connect to Him.” -Jessica

“Sometimes when we’re angry, it’s a deeper feeling of sadness.” – Jessica

“Our sin has consequences, and it doesn’t just affect us it affects others.” – Jessica

“Obedience deals with the heart.” – Jessica

“Love is not punishment.” – Caroline Harries

Resources:

Episode 258 Connecting to the Father’s Heart

Episode 266 Jessica Satterfield Raising Spirit Filled Part 1

Episode 267 Jessica Satterfield Raising Spirit Filled Part 2

The Connected Parent Book by Karyn Purvis

The Connected Child Book by Karyn Purvis

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality book by Peter Scazzero

In Due Time Ministries App