273. Lindsey Maestas // Building a Life-Giving Marriage

No matter where you find yourself in your marriage today, thriving, struggling, or somewhere in between, there is hope for you! In this episode, Lindsay Maestaes, author of Don’t Burn Your House Down, joins me for an honest and grace-filled conversation about marriage, faith, and the small choices that shape our relationships over time. We talk about why hard seasons don’t mean a marriage is broken, how to recognize subtle signs of disconnection, and how to invite Jesus into the everyday rhythms of your home. Lindsay shares practical encouragement for building a marriage that is life-giving and rooted in God’s design.

About Lindsey: Lindsey Maestas is a writer and podcast host known for saying the hard things gently. A respected relationship expert, writer, speaker, and entrepreneur, she reaches millions globally through her honest, biblically grounded teaching style. She is the host of the widely acclaimed podcast Living Easy with Lindsey, which has attracted a devoted audience of over three million listeners by blending emotional depth with real-life vulnerability. Her work tackles topics ranging from postpartum struggles and navigating difficult adult friendships to building deeper intimacy in marriage and studying the Bible with clarity.

At the core of Lindsey’s impact is The Wife Project: From Roommates to Soulmates, a biblical marriage course that has helped tens of thousands of women worldwide create meaningful connection and rediscover purpose in their relationships. Through candid storytelling and truth-filled wisdom, Lindsey helps her audience build relationships that feel safe and honest—not perfect. Her content is part pep talk, part tough love, and all heart, designed to challenge women to stop settling for a life of “fine” when they were created for far more. Lindsey lives in Nashville, Tennessee, with her husband and two boys.

Bible Verses:

Isaiah 55:11 “So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

1 Peter 3:1 “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”

Proverbs 18:21 “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Topics Discussed:

Introduction

Lindsay lives in Tennessee with her husband and 2 sons.
She has a podcast and she has recently written a book.
Lindsay grew up in a home where they only attended church on holidays.
She met Jesus and he radically and drastically changed her life.

Marriage

Lindsay and her husband have been married for 14 years.
A majority of marriages do not end because of a large betrayal; they end because of the little things built up over time.
Lindsay has been studying and researching marriage for over a decade, and she has implemented the tools she has learned in her own marriage.
Lindsay wrote a book about how to have a healthy marriage.
Her book is called Don’t Burn Your House Down.

How to Spot the Little Flames

Are you excited to drive home?
If you would rather be somewhere else, that is a signal that there is something within the home that does not bring you peace.
Our marriage is intended to be life giving.
Life giving doesn’t mean easy.
If your marriage is hard, it is not broken.
Contempt is the number one predictor of divorce.
Contempt includes sarcasm, smirks, snide remarks, and looking down on each other.
Stonewalling – giving each other the silent treatment.
Are you living as roommates?

Practical Tips

Shift the expectation of what your marriage is meant to do for you.
Our spouse cannot fill the hole in our heart that only Jesus can fill.
Your peace, joy and self-confidence cannot be given by your spouse.
Ask yourself, “What am I expecting from my partner that is the role of Christ?”
Pray for your spouse.
Greet your spouse at the door. Look in their eyes and give them a 6 second kiss.
Set the tone of your home.
Intentional connection.
Not everything that is felt needs to be said.

Personal Responsibility

Where are the areas in your life that you could show up as a better version of yourself?
Have you done everything in your power to honor the Lord in the way He has called you to in this marriage?
Why are we not giving the most exceptional versions of ourselves to our spouse that we possibly can?

Encouragement to Singles

Singleness is not a disease.
Take your time and enjoy your life.
When you’re looking for a partner, you’re looking for someone to go through life’s roughest moments with so choose wisely.
Trust that Jesus will bring this person to you.
Everything is magnified in marriage, the hard and the good.
Marriage does not fix the issues that you see now in singleness.

Contending for Your Spouse to Fall in Love with Jesus

You are not going into Heaven holding the hand of your spouse.
Your faith is yours and you have so much power in the way that you live.
Your faith is your responsibility.
Jesus will do what He is going to do with your spouse.
Build community with other believers and bring them into your home.
Stay consistent.
The same word in the Bible “helper” to describe a wife is the same word used for “Holy Spirit” and “armies that assist other armies”.
As wives, we come alongside our husbands to assist them while we stay true to God.
You need community so don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Encouragement for Those on the Verge of Divorce

Speak life.

If you see good in your spouse, tell them.
If you speak life into someone, they are far more likely to continue that behavior than if you criticize them.
The more nagging and critiquing we do as wives, the more our husbands will feel emasculated.
What are things they do well that you can celebrate?

Pursue sex and intimacy when you are emotionally disconnected.

God created our bodies for pleasure.
Don’t shy away from intimacy.
The book Song of Solomon talks about physical intimacy and God’s gift of sex.

Find Counseling

This could be going to dinner with a couple who has gone before you and hearing that you’re not alone.
Go to a marriage counselor

Become Playful

Be vulnerable.
There is a reason dating was fun and enjoyable.
Make time for playfulness.
Side-by-side activities alleviate the pressure that the face-to-face conversations have on our relationships.

Encouragement for Those in a Healthy Marriage

It is inevitable in any relationship that you are going to come across something that is going to cause great pain.
Life happens
If you don’t have the tools to prepare yourself when that happens then when it hits, the house burns down significantly faster.
The honeymoon phase is great but then life hits.
When the attraction fades, you’re going to have to do a little more to make sure you stay connected.

Powerful Quotes:

“No one is too far gone for Jesus.”– Caroline Harries

“There’s no shame in our sin or brokenness because He has overcome it.” – Lindsay Maestas

“Marriage is for His glory, not just for our satisfaction.” – Lindsay

“Jesus uses our spouse to make us more like Him.” – Lindsay

“Jesus is the only sure thing in our lives. He is the only permanent thing that does not fail or fall.” – Lindsay

“There is no intimacy without intentionality.” – Lindsay

“Your faith dictates your entire world.” – Lindsay

Resources:

Book: Don’t Burn Your House Down

Website: sparrowsandlily.com

Instagram: @livingeasywithlindsey