274. Chariti Kupiec // Becoming One Again

What if your marriage isn’t broken, but simply stretched thin by life? In this episode, Caroline sits down with Chariti Kupiec, married for over 30 years, to have an honest conversation about marriage, emotional safety, and intimacy in real life. Chariti shares how strong marriages don’t drift because of failure, but because of busyness, grief, and unprocessed tension, and why rebuilding friendship and practicing simple repair tools are essential for restoring connection. Drawing from her own journey through deep loss and enduring joy, she offers practical, hope-filled wisdom and introduces Becoming, a guided marriage journey designed to help couples grow together in every season.

Bible Verses:

2 Corinthians 10:5 “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Topics Discussed:

Introduction

Chariti grew up in a very abusive home.
Chariti was not a believer when she married her husband at the age of 19.
Chariti got pregnant at the age of 21 but had a miscarriage.
Chariti got pregnant again at the age of 22 and she accepted Jesus when she was 8 months pregnant with her oldest son Caleb.
When Caleb was 9 months old, she became pregnant with her second son Cameron.
When Cameron was 15 months old, he drowned in a swimming pool.
Chariti and her husband grieved in very different ways and after about 3 years they made the decision to get divorced. However, they ultimately realized that they just didn’t have the right tools to fight for their marriage.
They met with a marriage coach the next day.
Chariti and her husband have now been married for 31 years.

Marriage

Marriage is making about making a decision despite how you’re feeling.
So much of marriage is an act of obedience and decision making.
There are always things in your marriage that can be improved.

Hope

We need hope.
Hope comes from being truthful about a situation.
When you can look at the truth of a situation and be authentic and bring it before the Lord, that brings hope.
Hope comes from understanding that maybe not everyone had your best interest at heart but being able to forgive them and heal yourself.
It is important to lament. Pour your heart out before the Lord with truth.
Forgiveness releases you.
There is nothing as powerful to bring hope as being released to the ties of expectations.

Becoming

Chariti and her husband have spoken and taught about marriage at several events.
They created an online course called Becoming which is a 12-month coaching journey. It includes a monthly live coaching session.
This course was created to impact marriages that feel stuck and those couples who just want to grow in their marriage.
There is a piece that could be done for premarital counseling as well.
Every month in their program starts with an assessment and then there is a teaching video that discusses the content for that month.
The curriculum is created with neuroscience information on how to rewire your thoughts and align them biblically.
This program is designed for the believer and the non-believer.

What Can I Expect?

You can expect to learn how to regulate your emotions better.
You can expect to learn how to fight in a healthy way.
You will receive a lot of tools to look inside yourself and work through it.
You will learn more about yourself and learn more about your spouse in a way you never realized.
You will learn how to self-govern.
You will learn how to cast vision for the future.
This curriculum partners with inner healing, counseling, etc. It’s just another tool.

Encouragement for Those Whose Spouse Isn’t Willing