104. Questions and Answers
You asked questions and I answered them. From handling sadness and disappointments, friendships, narcissism in the church, marriage and more, you will not want to miss this episode!
1 Peter 3:1 “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.”
Matthew 7:15-20 ““Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.”
Galatians 5:22 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness.”
Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”
Genesis 50:20 “Don’t you see, you planned evil against me, but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now” Message Translation
Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Hebrews 11:6 “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”
Romans 10:17 “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.”
I want my husband to come along side me and join me in my relationship with Holy Spirit, but it’s just not happening. Do you have any advice on how to gently encourage or inspire your husband to join you in your walk with Holy Spirit?
- Win your husband over by your actions
- Model it for them. You will be known by your fruit.
- Speak life over your husband
- Create a list of declarations that would line up with your husband walking with the Lord and Holy Spirit.
- Ask Holy Spirit to reveal the word curses you have been speaking over your husband and break every curse and agreement.
- Pray, pray, pray.
- Stop carrying the burden, give it to the Lord.
How much do you pursue God together and how much of it is you each pursuing God separately?
- This looks different in different seasons.
- Praying, reading, and spending time with the Lord is mostly done separately.
- Pray and take communion together.
- Nothing can replace one-on-one time with Jesus.
- It’s important to do both.
- God is all about your heart, not about how you’re doing it or what it looks like.
How to encourage husband when he has wavered and is experiencing anger and even resentment towards the church?
- It’s important to get to the root of the problem.
- Spend some time asking Holy Spirit to reveal the root of the problem.
- Pray that the Lord softens his heart.
- Look at the generation before him – is this a generational issue?
Is it ever hard to be around nieces and nephews and feel sad because your kids won’t grow up with cousins around the same age as them?
- How long have you been sad, and have you taken that sadness and disappointment to the Lord?
- Take your disappointment and sadness to the Lord so He can come in and give you comfort and strength.
- It’s what we do with the disappointment and sadness that matters.
- We’re not going to deny it, we’re not going to stuff it, but we’re also not going to sit in it.
- Deal with the disappointment, but then flip it and celebrate.
Narcissism in the Church
Narcissism is defined as an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
- The leadership you choose to sit under will be what you submit to.
- Use wisdom
- If this is deeply affecting you and you know the environment is unhealthy – run. Leave your church.
- Pray about it and ask the Lord where He wants you to be.
- The congregation will only be as healthy as the leadership team.
You spoke about not taking an offense when someone does or says something to us. But I’m looking for encouragement about not worrying about others taking an offense when speaking truth. I know this is an area I am trying to work on. Having confidence to speak hard truths with others, even if they may take offense to it. As someone who can be a “people pleaser” or “don’t rock the boat”, this can be challenging, worrying about others taking offense to what I say.
- We are called to have a fear of God, not a fear of man.
- Anyone who wants to “people please” has a root of wanting to control.
- We have to get to the root.
- Invite Jesus in and receive healing.
- Break the demonic oppression that is over you.
- Spend time processing this with the Lord.
- You just can’t care. You are responsible for you. Be bold.
How do you stay positive when friends aren’t really being friends?
- If they are not being friends, don’t be friends with them.
- You are worthy and valued. You deserve the very best.
- Find a new community.
- Forgive them and do not take offense.
God Using Bad for Good
Can you talk about God using bad things that come our way for the good?
- God takes what the enemy meant for evil and He turns it around for good.
- When the enemy tries to kill and cause evil, God can and will turn it around for good.
- God turns around things for those who love Him.
- God honors obedience.
- When we partner up with God, He can use what the enemy meant for evil and turn it for good.
- There is nothing God can’t turn around.
Why does it seem like those with the most faith go through the most difficult trials? Example: Chris Gore praying over thousands of people and seeing them get healed but he has not seen healing for his own daughter. You have led a ministry and seen thousands of babies be born yet you are still waiting for your baby. Abraham and Sarah had to wait 25 years for something most don’t have to wait at all for, etc.
- Would the ministry look different if the leader was someone who had never gone through it?
- There is no reward without an obstacle.
- It’s not that the faith led to the difficult trial, its that the difficult trial led to the faith.
- Their faith came because they persevered in the trial and their faith was increased by the hearing of the Word of God.
- Faith builds on itself.
- The longevity of the trial increases faith.
“If you are modeling Jesus, your husband is going to notice.” – Caroline
“Words carry power so when you are speaking them out, they will produce fruit.” – Caroline
“Nothing can replace the one-on-one time with Jesus.” – Caroline
“Holy Spirit can heal every hurt, every disappointment, every place of pain.” – Caroline
“No matter what the problem is, we need to understand what the root is and then we need to invite Jesus in to heal that root.” – Caroline
“It’s what we do with the disappointment and sadness that matters.” – Caroline
“We’re not going to deny it, we’re not going to stuff it, but we’re also not going to sit in it.” – Caroline
“People pleasing is demonic oppression.” – Caroline
“How easily do we forget that the spirit world we are living in is much more real than anything in the natural world.” – Caroline
“There is no reward without an obstacle.” – Caroline
“It’s not that the faith led to the difficult trial, it’s that the difficult trial led to the faith.” – Caroline
“Faith is not reserved for only certain people. Faith is available to all of us, but we have to say yes and we have to press in.” – Caroline