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179. Why Forgiveness Matters 

179. Why Forgiveness Matters

We often think that harboring unforgiveness is a great way to punish those who hurt us, but in fact, it’s the exact opposite — it punishes us. Tune into this episode to hear how deadly and dangerous withholding forgiveness is and what scripture has to say on the topic of forgiving others!

Bible Verses:

Matthew 10:8, NIV: “Freely you have received; freely give.”

Colossians 3:13: “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Mark 11:25-26 “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your father in Heaven may forgive your sins. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Hebrews 8:12 “For I will forgive their iniquities and will remember their sins no more.”

Matthew 18:21-35 “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold[b] was brought to him.  Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything. ‘The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.[c] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Topics Discussed:


  • Unforgiveness is bitter and poison inside of you.
  • Unforgiveness will keep you in bondage.
  • Unforgiveness will prevent you from experiencing the freedom Jesus paid for.
  • Unforgiveness is an open door to the enemy
  • Unforgiveness negatively impacts relationships
  • Unforgiveness prevents you from staying connected to Christ
  • Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.
  • Unforgiveness is operating from the flesh not the spirit
  • When you choose not to forgive, you are saying that what happened to you is greater than what Christ did on the cross for you.
  • Unforgiveness is hypocritical.
  • We can’t ask for something we are not willing to give.
  • If we want to be forgiven, we must forgive.
  • Unforgiveness can lead to physical pain and illnesses.

Why Must We Forgive?

  • We forgive because God forgave us
    • God didn’t forgive you because you deserved it but He forgave you because He loves you.
    • While you were still a sinner, He sent His son to die for you; He paid a high price for you to live forgiven.
  • If we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us
    • Matthew 18 is the parable of the unforgiving debtor. This is an intense story. God is not messing around. He does not tolerate unforgiveness. God is not okay with it.
  • Forgiveness is a command in scripture.

Forgiving Others

  • Forgiving others doesn’t mean what they did was okay and is not approval of their actions
  • Is not a feeling; it’s a choice
  • Forgiveness isn’t easy, but by grace through the Holy Spirit, it is always possible.
  • When we forgive, we are operating in the spirit realm.
  • It is important to not just forgive others, but to also release them and bless them.

Asking God to Forgive Us

  • We need to receive forgiveness from Christ.
  • We need to be held responsible and ask for forgiveness from others.
  • Asking for forgiveness brings peace, freedom and restoration.
  • It is healthy dialogue to ask for forgiveness and, in turn, to forgive and bless others.
  • Confession of sin to the Lord is very important.

Powerful Quotes:

“Forgiveness is a choice.” – Caroline

“Unforgiveness will keep you in bondage.” – Caroline

“You will not experience the freedom that Jesus himself paid for if you choose not to forgive people.” – Caroline

“Unforgiveness disconnects you from Christ.” – Caroline

“You cannot be a Christian who has received forgiveness if you are not willing to give it to others.” – Caroline

“We forgive because God forgave us. If we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us.” – Caroline

“The full gospel includes the message of forgiveness.” – Caroline

“Forgiving others doesn’t mean that what they did was okay.” – Caroline

“Forgiving someone is a choice.” – Caroline

“It is powerful to release and bless the very people who have come against you.” – Caroline

“It a lie from the put of hell to think that you can be a mature Christian and harbor unforgiveness.” – Caroline

“Some physical diseases are tied to spiritual roots.” – Caroline

“Unforgiveness can lead to some physical sicknesses.” – Caroline


Closing Doors to the Enemy – Episode 169

No Longer a Sinner – Episode 178

Total Forgiveness by R.T. Kendall

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