91. Marriage Q&A with Colby Harries
You asked questions specific to marriage and my husband, Colby, and I answered! Colby shares on growing in Christ and Holy Spirit by focusing on priority and alignment. We also address how to keep your marriage alive and how to thrive in the middle of hard times. And lastly, we encourage you with how to best handle it if your husband is not leading you spiritually. No matter if you are single or married, we pray this episode blesses you.
Proverbs 23:7 “for he is the kind of person who is always thinking about the cost. ‘Eat and drink’, he says to you, but his heart is not with you.”
Phillipians 4:8 “Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”
Matthew 12:34 “You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”
Galatians 6:8 “Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”
Ephesians 5:21-33 “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church-for we are members of His body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
1 Peter 3:1 “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.”
Growing in Relationship with Christ and Holy Spirit
-Priority and Alignment
-Personal responsibility for the most important relationships
-Ministering to God and blessing Him is the first priority
-Time with God is receiving ministry from Him (identity, loving self properly)
-Once you are able to love God and yourself properly and Biblically it leads to the next important relationship of loving and ministering to your spouse and loving them well.
-The Gates (Eyes and Ears)
-What do I allow in and consume?
-What you allow in is going to affect you. It will either weigh you down and burden you, or it will have an uplifting affect.
-What gets my time, attention and focus?
-It’s important to put up boundaries to protect your heart and mind
Ephesians 5:21-33 and Marriage
-It’s important for a husband to be led by the Lord so that he can best lead his wife.
-This is a sacrificial love. It’s a love that is looking out for the interest of someone else more than themselves.
-Are you properly loving yourself so you can properly love your spouse?
What If My Husband is Not a Spiritual Leader?
-We need to honor people for who they are, instead of stumbling over who they are not.
-‘Call out the Gold’
-Start by being thankful and pointing out those things they do well (being a great provider, being a great father, etc.)
-Our words will either tear down a person or call them up higher.
-Look at their character and find one thing and focus on that. It will shift the environment and your perspective.
-1 Peter 3:1
How Can I Encourage My Husband to be a Stronger Spiritual Leader?
-Partner up with Holy Spirit and ask what that looks like for you and your spouse.
-Share your desires, but also share the WHY
-Tell your spouse what would bring you joy in your marriage
Keeping Your Marriage Alive
-Make time to connect and spend time together
-Planning trips to engage with family
-Make time for date nights
-Go back to the basics – What brought you together in the first place?
Thriving in the Midst of Hard Times
-Do not be focused and consumed on an area of lack or on what you need or what you are desiring. Use the time and passion you do have in other areas to focus and overflow and love, grow and bless those areas.
“Love God and love people is a nice phrase but what it tends to leave out is loving yourself well.” – Colby
“Worship is not just music and being in prayer, your work is also a form of worship.” – Colby
“When we protect our mind, there’s going to be the fruits of the Holy Spirit.” – Caroline
“The fruit of being in the Word is peace, joy and hope.” – Caroline
“The greatest form of loving someone is forgiving them.” – Colby
“We need to honor people for who they are, instead of stumbling over who they are not.” – Colby
“Our words will either tear down a person, or call them up higher” – Caroline