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94. Chariti Kupiec // The Power of Forgiveness

94. Chariti Kupiec // Forgiveness

a cup full of hope podcast chariti kupiec forgiveness

Chariti Kupiec is a born again believer who has been married for over 25 years and is a mom of three boys on earth and several in heaven. From suffering to triumph, she seeks to reveal the glory of God by sharing her deep joy, despite life’s difficult circumstances. Her deepest longing is to share openly so that others can see the hand of God throughout her experiences. She believes her life represents a beautiful weaving of pain with deep joy, one inseparable from the other, that has created in her a tapestry of joy.
Chariti was first on podcast episode 79, but she is returning to focus on the topic of forgiveness. She focuses on forgiving others and yourself, inner healing and the danger of harboring unforgiveness.

Show Notes

Bible Verses:

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Mark 11:25 “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your father in Heaven may forgive your sins.”

Topics Discussed:


  • 20 years ago, Chariti’s son died in a drowning accident when he was 15months old. Her sister was watching him at that time.
  • Her story is an example of how God changes your ashes into a crown of beauty.


  • Forgiveness has been a common theme in Chariti’s life.
  • When she was a child, Chariti suffered abuse and neglect from her mother.
  • Forgiveness can look different depending on the circumstances.
  • There can be times when you think you have fully forgiven someone, and then the Lord opens it back up.
  • If you still have an expectation of that person to do something, that may be an area where you are still needing to forgive.
  • When we haven’t released someone, we need to go in and check the root.

Why is Forgiveness Important?

  • God forgave you, therefore you forgive.
  • Either we want someone else to be held accountable and we would also be held accountable, or we want to be free, therefore we must want others to be free.
  • If I want forgiveness for my sins, I cannot have an expectation that others should not be forgiven.

Inner Healing

  • Forgiveness brings inner healing.
  • When we are walking in unforgiveness we are allowing our soul to rule, not our spirit.
  • Steps of inner healing: confess the sin, forgive others, and then ask the Lord to forgive you.
  • Step 1: Ask the Holy Spirit to give you a vision of how He sees that person
  • Step 2: Saying ‘I choose to forgive ____ for ____.’ Be very specific.
  • Step 3: Choosing to forgive all who have hurt you out of their own hurts and who have led you into sin.
  • Step 4: Release them from any debt you thought they owed you. Let go of any judgement or desire for punishment for that person.
  • Step 5: Lay all of this at the foot of the cross and completely surrender it to Jesus.


  • There is a lack of freedom for us when we don’t forgive.
  • We can’t ask for something we are not willing to give.
  • If we want to be forgiven, we must forgive.
  • Unforgiveness kills relationships.
  • Because unforgiveness is bitter and poison inside of you, it causes that to come out in other relationships.
  • We have to make a decision – is this actually important? Do I really care about this or is there something deeper? Am I harboring unforgiveness and looking for ways to punish them?
  • Unforgiveness leads to judgement.

Forgiving Yourself

  • When we hold on to the bad things we did, it’s like we are negating the gospel.
  • When we walk around with unforgiveness, it’s like we are saying that Jesus is not enough.
  • When we withhold forgiveness it’s like we are saying what that person did to us or what we did is bigger than what Jesus did on the cross.

Powerful Quotes:

“Forgiveness can look different depending on the circumstances, but God is faithful and there are tools and things that you can do to not wait 10 years to get that level of freedom.” – Chariti

“Forgiveness really is actually forgiving the thing and then releasing the person.” – Chariti

“Unforgiveness is sin.” – Chariti

“People’s hurt leads us to do things. We allow that to lead us into sin.” – Chariti

“Forgive someone for not only the thing that they did, but also how that led to a lot of other sins for you spiritually, physically, etc.” – Chariti

“When I want someone to be punished or I want judgement toward them, I know I have not released them.” – Chariti

“Unforgiveness is about you and your walk with the Lord.” – Chariti

“I’m going to love you right here where you are on the way to where you’re going.” – Chariti

“Forgiveness breeds a deep authentic joy.” – Chariti

“Forgiveness brings hope.” – Chariti

“There is a lack of freedom for us when we don’t forgive.” – Chariti

“Because unforgiveness is bitter and poison inside of you, it causes that to come out in other relationships.” – Chariti

“Unforgiveness leads to judgement.” – Chariti

“Unforgiveness can lead to physical sicknesses.” – Caroline

“Unforgiveness is like a poisonous fruit that we have eaten. The longer is stays in there, the more it permeates.” – Chariti

“Forgiveness is so profound in your spiritual walk with the Lord and will free you so much and will totally change your trajectory and your sanctification process.” – Chariti


Inner Healing

Elijah House Ministries

Streams Ministries —

Bait of Satan by John Bevere

Total Forgiveness by R.T. Kendall

How to Forgive Ourselves Totally by R.T. Kendall

Totally Forgiving God by R.T. Kendall

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